PSAsux – The Leader in Arbitrary Card Grading

Overcharging and Disappointing Collectors Since Always

Our Label

Means Arbitrary

Because who needs consistency when you have monopoly?

Random

Our graders use a proprietary dart board system to ensure maximum unpredictability in every grade.

Subjective

We grade based on mood, weather, and whether Mercury is in retrograde.

Inconsistent

Submit the same card twice, get two different grades. That's the PSAsux guarantee!

Expensive

Premium pricing for arbitrary decisions. Because why not?

Current Processing Time

180 days and counting...

Why Choose PSAsux?

Because you have no choice. You can send your cards to other graders, but deep down, you know the market only cares about our plastic coffins. So go ahead—pay us to tell you your childhood treasure is worthless.

Our Totally Scientific Grading Scale

10 (Gem Mint)

Congratulations! You must know somebody.

9 (Mint)

Off by 0.0001mm? Sorry, bud.

8 (Near Mint)

We sneezed while grading.

7 (Very Good)

Your card offended us personally.

6 or Below

Did you run this through a washing machine?

A (Authentic)

It's real, but we're judging you.

Turnaround Times: Just Guess

"Value" Service

Hope you're immortal.

"Regular" Service

It'll be back before the next Olympics. Probably.

"Express" Service

Pay triple, still wait months.

"Walkthrough" Service

For the rich and impatient.

Collector Testimonials (100% Real, We Swear)

"Sent in my pristine rookie card. Came back a 6. Cracked it out, resubmitted the same card… came back a 9. What kind of carnival game is this?" – Mike T.

"I paid for Express service. It's been eight months. Can I get a refund?" – Jessica L.

"I got a PSA 10, but I had to sacrifice a small animal and a first-born child. Worth it?" – Dave R.

"They lost my card, found it, and then charged me an upcharge because they decided it was worth more. Can't make this up." – Steve W.

PSAsux Employee Secrets (Click to Reveal)

🤫 We grade cards in the dark. The boss said "grading should be more of a feeling."

🤫 We have a dartboard with random grades.

🤫 We love cracking our own slabs and resubmitting just to mess with numbers.

🤫 We upcharge based on mood. Declared $500? We'll say it's worth $5,000 now.

🤫 We take "lunch breaks" that last six months. Ever wonder why your card is still "in progress"?

Generate Your Own Label

Because why wait for us to grade your card randomly when you can do it yourself?

Card Name:

Set Name:

SET NAME

CARD NAME

2025 214

35965419

MOOD 8

Your Saved Labels

View, edit, and print your previously saved labels.

No saved labels found.

Our Premium Slabs

69420420

Your Card Here (Results May Vary)

80085555

Same Card (Graded Twice)

42042069

Premium Card ($500 Tip Included)